Our mistake was we get our hopes up. 2 weeks back dad's tumor markers were down so we slipped up and let ourselves hope, despite what we know about pancreatic cancer. Now the worry is, how will he respond to this new chemo agent? Will it diminish his quality of life? Will he still be able to work (which he enjoys...) I think our finances are ok to cover the deductible etc. but all of these are uncertainties weighing down on an already emotionally exhausting situation. There's a whole list of other things which I'm not going to go into at the moment but all of them are tiring while also removing one's ability to rest easily. The last few months we could slip back into old routines and play out some of our usual winter indolence which was in retrospect the right thing to do for sure as it was very comforting and allowed all of us to regain some strength. Now we're shaken up again and once more pressed for time.
Sorry to get melancholy but it helps to vent a little. Thanks for the concern, at least enough to read of my worries. I hope life brings you something different and better than this which occupies me right now. God bless you all.
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